the old game in an old town

if for any reason you do find yourself at a loose end this evening you may be interested to know that sex is apparently for sale on swansea pavements. it seems that a posse of aspiring turnip polishers and mascara testers from what used to be the eastern bloc have decided that the city's streets are lined with gold.

are they in for a shock? they might actually pull a few punters but will they get paid? your guess is as good as mine but i think it more likely they'll be puked over. and offered a few chips in consolation. poor dears.

swansea swains are a choosy bunch. i remember an incident way back in the 1980s. apparently a Mrs Murgatroyd had secured the attentions of a Wind Street reveller one evening. (yes it was a lot quieter then. is that better for a working girl? or worse?) after a brief discussion the couple adjourned to a piece of waste ground for a little intimate activity.

hardly headline news. well not in the normal run of events anyway. but on this occasion the post coital punch up did attract the attention of the police. it seems that the client, who from memory wasn't named, felt that the service Mrs M. had delivered had not lived up to expectations. consequently he withheld payment and a dispute arose.

i can't remember the end of the tale but i am pretty sure that it ended up in court. public nuisance or something. she might even have been bound over. possibly adding a line to her cv.

i don't think she ever saw any of the money. but she certainly did get plenty of free publicity. (it is not difficult to imagine one or two embarrassing questions at the breakfast table. such as 'Mummy, whats a prostitute?').

all of which leads me to think that if a swansea girl can't get the bucks out of the local lads i don't know how some adolescent Elena is going to cope. puked on and beaten up by her pimp all in one night. i'd be staying snug in my wellies in the beetroot fields if i was her. but then happily for me, i'm not.

i don't know what south wales is coming to. apparently a chap got buggered (against his will) in resolven recently. jesus christ. what is going on between these boys' ears? the answer, i think we know, is the great fuck all.

although somebody did say that the victim was wearing a sheepskin jacket at the time. well. i ask you? if that's true what did he expect? going out dressed like that. the bloke was asking for it.


Patrick Ellis 2006