dance of the (un)dead

dancing partners. who needs 'em? well we all do as it happens. both metaphorically and really. but just keeping to the dance arena for the moment, if you ain't got a partner why bother?

of course you can preen and strut all you like in your own girational statement. you can shake your booty and casino turn till your body pops in a wild orgasm of rhythm if you so desire. and the assembled wallhangers can marvel or snigger at your skill, or lack of it, as the spirit moves them. but really, if you ain't got someone to hang on to, yours is a truly solitary vice.

personally i reckon a partner is a must. and there's the rub so to speak. just who is this lucky person going to be? who are you going to invite?

for the purpose of this short reflection i'm going to stick to lasses. in salsa, at least where i dance, not many boys dance together. and to be honest, as far as i am concerned girls are more fun.

some say you don't need to make too much of it. the relationship is only going to last for a few minutes after all. a few brief twirls and out before you move to the next beautiful blossom with whom to redefine your conception of personal space and shake that funky thing. so it could be anybody really.

or could it?

that few minutes cuddling up to a fun honey is nearly always over way too soon. but pairing up with the wrong lady can broach an eternity of excruciating faux pas through which to fumble before silently disengaging and hurrying to opposite ends of the room.

there are of course ladies who are crap dancers. they don't have a clue because they've only been doing it for a week or two. they are tense and want to keep their arms by their sides i imagine to protect their bosoms from uninvited manhandling.

they should be so lucky. firstly that isn't going to happen. secondly their chests would be perfectly safe in my hands ... but it still isn't going to happen. and thirdly by the time they've been at it for a few more weeks they won't give a fig anyway.

dance virgins tho they may be these girls are not always the chore they think they are. if they don't actually fight and aren't contrary enough to resist your lead it can be rewarding helping them build their confidence. you can tell that soon some of them will be much better than you are anyway so why not help them now.

anyone who sticks with it obviously will improve. there are plenty of ladies who are very good. tho conversely this doesn't necessarily make them great partners.

apart from whether or not they are prepared to take a lead it also depends on why they want to dance. maybe its an exhibition? maybe they are signaling their physical perfection to a prospective mate? or maybe its a status thing and they want to demonstrate their position in the strutting hierarchy. if that's the case, unless you are more than mortal yourself forget it. you won't get a look in.

so it doesn't have much to do with your partner's dance skill, its really about their innate sense of rhythm and much much more about their attitude. how they feel about themselves and how they see you. and how much they trust you.

everybody's different of course and occasionally someone turns up who stakes out new territory in dance partner land. janey for example is both crap and haughty. and brings a whole bundle of baggage when she condescends to stalk across the floor. its not that she hasn't tried to absorb the groove, its just that she is naturally arrhythmic. not clumsy exactly just slightly, consistently and unpredictably off the beat.

maybe she compensates for this with attitude? its difficult to be sure but being unpleasant certainly seems to be a cornerstone of her technique. so not only is her movement erratic she also enjoys an abrasive personality.

and with janey the lack of fun doesn't stop there. even to touch her is somehow not a pleasant experience. its as if she carries a resentment which makes her uncomfortable in her own body and which she communicates through her skin.

its not a hygiene issue. trust me, you dance with someone you know whether they're clean or not. also its not a skin disease. there are no warts, or acne or scars or scabs. none of that. well not in the physical dimension that is. its just difficult to find her edge. you know, where she starts and stops. she feels formless. and cold as if, were you to sleep with her and be lucky enough subsequently wake up, you might find yourself suffering from a kind of spiritual hypothermia.

so maybe any consideration of dance partners also needs to recognize the cosmic, angry icebergs of the dance scene. those chill, life threatening presences in the pulsing sea of femininity that are best avoided. the janeys in other words.

but make up your own mind. for me, i've spotted her and am going to maintain my course round that particular eruption of emotional anti-matter. from now on i'll cuddle the ladies who are warm and willing.

i know it makes sense.

peace, love and no mittens,